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1. Have a torrid fling with a street mutt.
2. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
3. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
4. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
5. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
6. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don’t let them figure out I’m just a furry rat or they’ll flush me.
8. Always scoot before licking.
9. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
10. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
11. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd – December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
12. I will NOT chase the darnrd stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND!



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