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Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954…”

Q. What’s Irish and stays out all night?
A. Patty O’furniture!

Q: How do ghosts begin letters?

A: Tomb it may concern…

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together.
“Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!”
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
“Don’t know” said the farmer. “Never could catch the sucker!”

Three men die in a car accident Christmas eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something Christmassy.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a Christmas card, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of panties.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?”

He answered, “They’re Carol’s.”

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