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Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: “You’re fun to hang around with.”

Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He has a whale of a party!

(to the tune of Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree)

What a doggie holiday
Just doin’ what comes naturally
Even though it’s Christmas Day.

Markin’ around The Christmas Tree
Gotta squirt each present twice
Spreading our scent on all this stuff
It’s a doggie paradise.

There may be some screaming when the humans rise at dawn
(but remember)
Grandma wraps her gifts in plastic
Hey – come on – it’s nothing drastic.

Markin’ around the Christmas tree
We just do what boydogs do
Doin our duty gracefully
And we’ll share our loot with you.

Markin’ around the Christmas tree
All precautions were in vain
We must own everything we see
So we stake our doggie claim.

Markin’ around the Christmas tree
We don’t see the problem here
But if we’re caught we know that we
Will be dragged off by the ear.

People shout and tell us we are evil little curs
(but remember)
We’re not trying to be snotty
YOU installed this indoor potty!

Markin’ around the Christmas Tree
Gonna check our list off twice
When Santa visits, we know he
Can just sniff out who is NICE!

Q: Why did the pumpkin wear a football helmet?

A: Because it was a jack-o’-lantern!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?

A: Shortcake!

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