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Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it’s all heart.

Q: What’s a cold, evil candle called?
A: The wicked wick of the north.

Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone…

Standing at the kitchen sink, take the removable water hose used for squirting into glasses, or spraying off left-over food from dishes, and tape the nozzle into the “ON” position with scotch tape or black electrical tape and then reset the nozzle in its place in the sink with the nozzle facing out toward the place you are standing.
Go to another room and after a few minutes ask some one (wife, child or husband as examples) to bring you a glass of water.
BE PREPARED to exit the house A.S.A.P!

Q: Where do you find reindeer?
A: It depends on where you leave them!

Q: What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
A: They all can! Houses can’t jump!

Q: Why don’t Prancer and Dancer and the other reindeer overtake Rudolph?
A: Because they don’t believe in passing the buck!

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