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* Still hasn’t forgiven Michael J. Fox for “Teen Wolf.”

* Newly installed keg of Nair in men’s room.

* His Wolfman Jack impression is eerily authentic.

* Five o’clock shadow appears around 8:30 am.

* Only *guy* you know who circles several days a month in red on his desk calendar.

* Says, “Great job on the Hanrahan account!” and then humps your leg.

* Domino’s guy asks, “who ordered the large Cheese and Raw Beef Special?”

* Adamantly refuses to drink Coors Light.

* In lieu of annual bonus, prefers a good scratching behind the ears.

* Suddenly sports a beard when mooned at office holiday party.

* Water cooler conversations always end with talk of “kickin’ Ol’ Yellar’s ass.”

* “Severance pay” has taken on a whole new meaning lately..

* Vending machine always out of Milk Bones.

* Your sarcastic little “Bite me!” nets you 12 stitches.

* Always calls in sick with “mange.”

* Coughs up a hairball during morning staff meeting.

* Has more hair on his back than you’ve got on your head, and he’s NOT ED ASNER!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?

A: Because it couldn’t get a date.

Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?

A: Platform shoes!

Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?

A: Angel food cake, of course!

Q: What is bigger than a monster but lighter than a bird?

A: A monster’s shadow.

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