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Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train home?
A: He had to give it back.

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite line for meeting girls?

A: “Hey, gorgeous. What’s your blood type?”

Roses are red,
or are they blue?
Hell I don’t know
but I do like you.

I love you more
than my truck’s tires.
Yer more useful than my
old rusty pliers.

You cook a good deer
and fry a good egg,
just wish you’d shave that
hair off your legs.

If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,
It’s okay, I’ll still feel the same,
I’ll just keep on tellin my buddies,
yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.

Yer my pride and joys,
What a lady!
But hows come we do it
only when it’s my payday?

When I ran over ya with my truck,
you didn’t even say “ouch.”
And you are so cute,
when you wipe your boogers under the couch.

I hope we stay together,
at least a couple more days-
cuz I’m really horny
and I want to get laid.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?”
Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”



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