The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, “Trick or Treat!”

The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween. The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.” Then he takes 28% of the man’s candy, leaves, and doesn’t say Thank You.

Q: Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?
A: Hareobics.

Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

A: Because they both have Sandy claws!

On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs.
The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. A few minutes passed and then he returned with a potato around his penis.
The wife gave him a quizzical look and the husband said, “If you’re going as a sour-puss, I’m going as a dictator.”

Q: What do you get when you goose a ghost?

A: A handfull of sheet!