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‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the casa,
Not a creature was stirring
— Caramba! Que pasa?

Los ninos were tucked
away in their camas,
Some in long underwear,
some in pijamas,

While hanging the stockings
with mucho cuidado
In hopes that old Santa
would feel obligado.

To bring all children,
both buenos and malos,
A nice batch of dulces
and other regalos.

Outside in the yard
there arose such a grito
That I jumped to my feet
like a fightened cabrito.

I ran to the window
and looked out afuera,
And who in the world
do you think that it era?

Saint Nick in a sleigh
and a big red sombrero
Came dashing along
like a crazy bombero.

And pulling his sleigh
instead of venados
Were eight little burros
approaching volados.

I watched as they came
and this quaint little hombre
Was shouting and whistling
and calling by nombre:

“Ay Pancho, ay Pepe,
ay Cuco, ay Beto,
Ay Chato, ay Chopo,
Macuco, y Nieto!”

Then standing erect
with his hands on his pecho
He flew to the top
of our very own techo.

With his round little belly
like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze
down our old chiminea,

Then huffing and puffing
at last in our sala,
With soot smeared
all over his red suit de gala,

He filled all the stockings
with lovely regalos —
For none of the ninos
had been very malos.

Then chuckling aloud,
seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash
and was gone like the viento.

And I heard him exclaim,
and this is verdad,
“Merry Christmas to
all, and Feliz Navidad!”

On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs.
The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. A few minutes passed and then he returned with a potato around his penis.
The wife gave him a quizzical look and the husband said, “If you’re going as a sour-puss, I’m going as a dictator.”

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?

A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!

Q: How did George Washington speak to his army?
A: In general terms!

Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an oversterssed person?

A: An Easter basket case!



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