Q: Did you hear about the obnoxious pumpkin?

A: He was a real jerk-o’-lantern!

Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: A dead ringer.

Q: What do you do with a green monster?
A: Wait until it ripens.

Q: Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?

A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!

(To the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Sea gulls sing, are you listen’nin?
At the beach, surf is glist’nin’,|
A beautiful sight, a sunset tonight,
Walkin’ in the winter wonderland.

Stored away are the snow skis,
Here we stay in our short sleeves,
You sing a new song, “This is where we belong!”
Livin’ in a winter wonderland.

In the yard we can trim a palm tree,
Then pretend to shovel lots of snow,
You’ll say, “Do you miss it? I’ll say, “No ma’am.”
“I feel better by the moment don’t you know.”

Later on we’ll conspire,
To grill some shrimp on the fire,
The plans we have made include sun and some shade,
Walkin’ in the winter wonderland!