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The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, “Trick or Treat!”

The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween. The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.” Then he takes 28% of the man’s candy, leaves, and doesn’t say Thank You.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I’m stuck on you.

* Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

* If you get tired, wait ten minutes then go at it again.

* The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

* You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you the candy.

* Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.

* 40 years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.

* If you wear a Bill Clinton mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.

* Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

* Less guilt the next morning.

* If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!!!

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as ‘Rocky’ in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

“Aren’t you the same ‘Rocky’ who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “but now I’m the sequel. I’ll be back three more times tonight too.”

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

© 2015