Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


* Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)

* Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.

* Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

* Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!!!” Act like it’s a surprise party.

* Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound.

* Hand them your child’s school fund raiser ordering sheet and insist that they buy their own candy.

* After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

* Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don’t move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

* When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, “Crawl for it!”

* When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away.

* Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.

* Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.

* When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.

* Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.

* Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.

* Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M’s and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don’t have any candy.

* Hand out cigarettes and bottles of aspirin.

* Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.

Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

A: Santa Clues!

A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette. “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” his friend says. “I’m in the process of quitting,” the man says. “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.” – “What’s phase one?” – “I’ve quit buying.”

Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn.

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, “Get the hell off our car!”



© 2015 ijokedb.com