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Q: What has antlers and loves cheese?

A: Mickey Moose!

Q: Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens?
A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs!

What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas game?

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you’ve been bad or good… so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you’re sleeping… and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

9. Screw the “nice” list – I’ve got you on my “naughty” list!

10. Wanna join the “Mile High” club?

On the first night of their honeymoon, the very naive virgin bride slipped into a sexy, but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, “Because it’s Lent.”

“Why, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard,” she exclaimed, close to tears. “To whom and for how long?!”

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