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Q: What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?

A: The actors get stage fright.

- The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small, round ass not the other way around.

- ‘Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your ass whupped, Homeboy.

- Your “Naked Linda Tripp” costume is actually more nauseating than scary.

- Your “Yanni” costume got you beat up on the way to the party, four times.

- Your Dirk Diggler costume is merely embarrassing now that your “Diggler” is stuck in the car door.

- Your beret falls off every time you kneel.

- Yellow Homer Simpson makeup? Check. Can of Homer Simpson “Duff Beer?” Check. Homer Simpson pants? DOH!!!!

- No one can tell whether you came as Abe Vigoda or Marge Schott.

- This year’s guest judge, Elizabeth Dole, has apparently never even *heard* of Marilyn Manson.

- Much to your surprise, three other people came dressed as Nikola Tesla, father of alternating current.

- The judges wrongly interpreted your “Liposuction By-product” costume as a “Bowl of Tapioca Pudding” costume.

- The only song you knew to go with the costume was “Mammy,” and the judges at the NAACP party were not impressed.

- *Nobody* likes a farting clown.

* You’re sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

* The turkey never suffers from modesty.

* You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

* You are expected to pass the dishes around.

* There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

* They give you the day off with pay to have dinner.

* Thanksgiving dinner is a “sure” thing.

* Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

* You’re expected to fall asleep after dinner.

* You are expected to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

A: When it’s been sliced.

Q: Why did the monster eat the caboose?
A: The locomotive told him to “Choo, choo.”

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