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‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And we were all in a hurry.
No one had seen Rudolph,
Santa started to worry.

We looked everywhere both high and low,
And we knew we needed Rudolph for the big show.
When he was found he looked sickly and pale,
He said that he partied too hard and spent 3 days in jail.

Santa told Rudolph the big night was here,
So go take a shower and put down the beer.
That’s when Rudolph told Santa, “I don’t think I can!”
And Santa said but you have to, “Cause I love you, man”

“And if you don’t listen to what I’m telling you,
Tomorrow for lunch we’ll have Reindeer stew!”
So Rudolph said, “Fine, let’s pack up and go.
But before we do there’s something you should know.”

“This is the last year I’ll pull your damn sled,
Because after this I’m retiring to bed.”
The day after Christmas Santa threw a big feast,
We had cakes and pies and even roast beef.

But then with a sly grin Santa said we should try something new,
Mrs. Claus has cooked all day and made us some stew.
We ate and we drank ’til they turned the lights off,
But none seemed to know what ever happened to Rudolph.

We here at the North Pole we’ll miss his red nose,
It’s still a big mystery that only Santa knows!

Q: Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
A: Because they’ve just finished a long March!

Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay.

Q: Did you hear about the author elf?

A: He only wrote short stories!

Q: What do little sppoks call their parents?

A: Mummy & Deady.

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