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10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Q: What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
A: Santa pause!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!

Q: Did you hear the one about Labor Day?
A: It works for me!



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