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Millennia are fairly common things:
In a billion years are quite a few.
Long or short, their roundness pleasure brings:
Life needs some pretext to begin anew.
Each millennium’s a fresh, blank page:
No future ever stretched so fair and far.
Now we wait upon the empty stage
In hopes we’ll catch a glimpse of who we are.
Underneath is something vast and free:
Millennia are chains across a sea.

1. I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
2. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
4. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
5. I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
6. I will think of a password for my computer other than “password.”
7. I will try to figure out why I “really” need 11 e-mail addresses.
8. I will go into McDonald’s and order a McSpreader
9. I will go into McDonald’s and order a McSlurry
10. I will find out why the correspondence course on “Mail Fraud” that I purchased never showed up.

* 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
* 2000: I will read at least 10 books a year.
* 2001: I will read 5 books a year.
* 2002: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
* 2003: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

* 1999: I will get my weight down below 170.
* 2000: I will watch my calories until my weight is below 200.
* 2001: I will follow my new diet until I get below 220.
* 2002: I will work out once a week.
* 2003: I will drive past a gym at least once a week.

* 1999: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
* 2000: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
* 2001: I will be totally out of debt by next year.
* 2002: I will try to pay off the debt interest by next year.
* 2003: I will try to be out of the country by next year.

A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette. “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” his friend says. “I’m in the process of quitting,” the man says. “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.” – “What’s phase one?” – “I’ve quit buying.”

A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette. “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” his friend says. “I’m in the process of quitting,” the man says. “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.” – “What’s phase one?” – “I’ve quit buying.”



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