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Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn.

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, “Get the hell off our car!”

Vampire 1: “I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died.”
Vampire 2: “How awful!”
Vampire 1: “Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time.”

Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?

A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

Q: Why is it tough to compete against a vampire?

A: Because they’re always out for blood!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender?

A: I’d like a beer and a mop!



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