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Q: Why don’t the polar bears eat the penguins?

A: Because they can’t get the silver paper off!

Q: What do you call the reindeer with cotton wool in his ears?
A: Call him anything you like – he won’t hear you!

Q: What do Santa’s helpers make the day before Christmas?

A: Eight dollars an hour plus time and a half for overtime!

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”

She said, “I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there’s nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

Q: What has antlers and loves cheese?

A: Mickey Moose!

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