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Q: What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas carol?

A: “Jungle Bells”.

Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

A: Santa Clues!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a pig with a Christmas tree?

A: A porker tree!

Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of preasents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray.
“God, I have been a child of perfection this year. I think I should get lots of presents… no that won’t work.”

He got on his knees.
“God, I haven’t been the best child since last December. I still deserve lots of preasents for my efforts… no that won’t work either!”

He laid face flat on the floor.
“God, I have been a complete devil this year. But I can change, I promise! No, theres no way he’ll beleive that!”

Johnny went to his last resort. He walked over to the model of the stable that Jesus was born in. Little Johnny reached in and pulled out the Virgin Mary. He went into his room, wrapped Mary in a sock, and placed her in his drawer.

“God, if you ever want to see your mother again…

Q: What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
A: Santa pause!

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