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Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!

“Look at ME!!” boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 situps before a group of young people.

“Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after loose women!!”

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, “And tomorrow — tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my -90th- birthday!!”

“Oh, really?” drawled one of the young onlookers, “How?”

Q: Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
A: On his birthday flake!

“Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
“Next time, take off the candles.”

Q: What do you give nin-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!



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