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Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?

A: He shellabrates!

Q: Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday?

A: It was a tappy one!

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?

A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

At last – Today’s your Special(1) Day!
The World(2) all stops to shout hooray(3)!
We(4) wish you peace and joy and fun
Today you’re the exalted(5) one.


1. Except where this day is a holiday celebrated by other cultures, or others whose birthday should fall on this day, respecting the effect of the International Dateline.
2. Or, more properly, the portion of the world immediately surrounding you, which may differ significantly in any way from other cities, towns, or countries, all of which are valid and important in their own right.
3. Except persons speaking other languages, who may shout whatever version of “hooray” their specific culture supports.
4. “We” being any who consent to such a wish, not including persons of differing viewpoints who may dissent.
5. Not to imply others may be any less exalted, either today, or on their own birthdays, or any day of their choosing.

Q: Did you hear about the tree’s birthday?

A: It was a sappy one!

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