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Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?

A: A birthday pheasant!

When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes – but where can you find a bloodshot tie?

My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people’s birthdays. She says she doesn’t think people would like margarine as a present.

Man 1: “I got my wife a VCP for her birthday.”
Man 2: “Don’t you mean a VCR?”
Man 1: “No, a VCP … Very Cheap Present!”

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?

A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
‘Oh, I don’t know ,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds.
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.



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