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The bachelor’s diet
Published: 1 year ago     submited by
Related: Food (+112)     
         

MONDAY:

Breakfast – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

Afternoon snack – Drink the maalox

Dinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.

TUESDAY:

Breakfast – Eat the coleslaw

Lunch – Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.

WEDNESDAY:

Breakfast – Jaws couldn’t eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s

Lunch – Rolaids and a coke

Dinner – Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

THURSDAY:

Breakfast – Order out for pizza

Lunch – Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

Dinner – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

FRIDAY:

Breakfast – Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.

Lunch – Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

Dinner – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

SATURDAY:

Breakfast – Sleep through it.

Lunch – Ditto

Dinner – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

SUNDAY:

Breakfast – Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

Lunch – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

Dinner – Chicken noodle soup – Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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