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Definition of ‘Outdoor Barbecuing’ – the only type of cooking a real man will do.

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:

1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, and places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off’. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

This girl is feeling a bit down in the dumps and decides to treat herself to a meal at the Ritz. She manages to get a table that very night and enjoys a delicious meal on her own, nothing too extravagant but nice all the same.

The head waiter brings the bill and she’s horrified to see the total: 150 bucks!

She didn’t expect this at all and asks the waiter, “Would you mind holding my breasts while I write the check please?”

The head waiter is taken aback. In all his years in the job he’s never been asked that before, but always eager to please the customer, he obliges.

She gets up to leave and the waiter is still perplexed. His curiosity gets the better of him and he catches up with her at the door, “I’m sorry to bother you Miss but I’d like to know why you asked me to do that just now.”

“Oh it’s quite simple really,” she replies. “I love to have my breasts held when I’m being screwed!”

Cologne, May 27 dpa – The U.S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many “Big Mac” hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany’s leading institutes.

The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald’s restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies’ relative purchasing power.

The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, “baskets” of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.

A simple alternative, now that McDonald’s has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

“A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany can just barely obtain four Big Macs,” the IW said.

Conclusion: based on the Big Mac index, the dollar is undervalued, the institute said.

Americans can get their best Big Mac buy these days in Moscow, where one sandwich costs only about 59 cents.

But Russians must “work nearly two days in order to afford this meaty capitalist achievement – longer than people in any other country”, the IW said.

In January 1994, ‘The Economist’ magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O’Leary’s success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory’s helping McDonald’s to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who interrupted his work on advanced photons, placed sensors inside the frozen fries and was able to design special frying baskets to deal with the effect of steam created by melting ice crystals and to cut 30 to 40 seconds off each batch’s frying time.

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man’s mouth.



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