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Definition of ‘Outdoor Barbecuing’ – the only type of cooking a real man will do.

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:

1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, and places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off’. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

I thought you were trying to get into shape?

I am. The shape I’ve selected is a triangle.

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”

A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order, “…and to drink?” she asked. The man said he would like coffee.

The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man’s lap when she stopped at the table. “Oh my god, I am so sorry!”

“That’s OK,” the man said sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin. “But tell me, is this regular or decaf?”

“Regular,” she replied.

“Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!”

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”



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