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“Noah,” says the Lord, “for the next flood, I want no animals on board, just fish. And not any old fish, but only carp, in glass tanks.”
“And this time,” says the Lord, “think big, Eight decks at least.”
“I got you,” says Noah, “what you want is a multi-storey carp ark.”

Abe, not the brightest of accounts department staff, is called in to see his boss.
“Abe,” says his boss, I’d like you to know that we’re quite satisfied with your work here.”
“Thank you sir,” replies Abe
“And how much are we paying you?” asks his boss.
“$15,000 per year, sir,” replies Abe.
“I’m glad,” says his boss, “You can go now.”

A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the carwash because, in his religion, it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the Rabbi cutting the end off the tailpipe.

one day a travel merchant looks out his window and sees an old lady and old man schlepping bags of shopping in the rain.the merchant feels sorry for them and thinks “i’ll do my mitzvah of the day and give the couple some tickets to barbados”.
so he gives them their free tickets and they go on their cruise to barbados.
next week the old lady comes in and says to the merchant “thankyou for the free ticket,i really enjoyed myself.just one thing though.who’s the old man?”

Q: Why do we read from a haggadah?
A: Because we want to be able to Seder right words.

haggadah: Passover prayer book
seder: Passover ceremony



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