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The owner of a golf course in Arkansas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Arkansas, and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

In school, the professor asks:
-Who can tell me now who was the mother
of Moses? You, Daniel,should know,tell me!
Daniel, a young jewish child, stand up and
answers without hesitate :
- Moses mother was the faraoh’s daughter!
- No,no,no,no, Daniel…, the faraoh’s
daughter found him down the Nile,in a basket…
- Yeah,that’s what she says

Q: What do Alaskans do when their boats are too leaky?

A: Use them for dog houses.

Q. What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?
A. Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a house trailer.

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna tell his wife?” They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse. “Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.” Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: “Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home. “Tell him to drop dead!” yells the wife. “I’ll go tell him.” says Goldberg.



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