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The Alabamian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. “Want to go in the back seat?” she asked.

“No,” he replied.

A few minutes later she asked, “Now do you want to get in the back seat?”

“No,” he said again, “I wanna stay here in the front seat with you.”

Freda goes into her son’s bedroom. “You’ve got to get up for school, Yossi.”
Yossi pulls the blankets over his head and replies, “I don’t want to go to school, mother.”
“But you have to,” Freda said.
“I don’t want to. The teachers don’t like me and all the kids make fun of me.” Freda pulls the blanket back a little, “Yossi, you don’t have any choice. You’ve got to get up for school.”
“OK, OK”, says Yossi, “But only if you give me one very good reason!”
“You’re 52 years old and you’re the headmaster.”

This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings.

They’re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000 .

When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. “We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you.”

A Jewish mother was seen running along the beach screaming, “Help! Help! My son, the doctor, is drowning!”

A gentleman by the name of Borris goes to see a Rabbi.
“Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”
“What’s wrong?” Asked the Rabbi
Borris replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”
Borris then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?”
The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”
A week later the Rabbi calls Borris and says, “Well, I have spoken to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?”
Borris anxiously says, “Yes.”
“Take the poison,” says the Rabbi.

© 2015