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1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Not embarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history… well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend’s armpit hair
10. Sweating tenors

Whats the first thing the father of an italian women does to her fiance?
Pulls out a shot gun

Issy was the proud co-owner of the local dry cleaners. One day, during dinner, whilst he was finishing his chicken soup, his 9year old son Sam asked, “Dad, what’s ethics?”
Issy thought for a while, put down his spoon, looked at Sam and replied, “Okay, let’s suppose someone comes into my shop and gives me his business suit to dry clean. Then suppose I find a $20 note in his trouser pocket?”
Sam looked expectantly at his father.
“So,” Issy said, “to answer your question, Sam, do I tell my partner I found the money? That’s ethics”.

It seems a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man. Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder and asks, “Who wrote this?!”
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
“Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.”
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”

An old man with terrible hearing has just gotten an amazing hearing aid. He goes to his friend to tell him about it.
The old man, who’s name is Moishe, raves about his new hearing aid.
“It is made of glass so you can’t even see it! It has so much power in it. It’s almost impossible to break as well. I love it!”
His friend asks, “What kind is it?”
Moishe looks at his watch. “Quarter to three.”



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