Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Abe was 75 years old and had a medical problem that needed complicated surgery. Because his son Jacob was a renowned surgeon, Abe insisted that Jacob perform the operation. On the day of his operation, as he lay on the operating table waiting for the anaesthetic, Abe asked to speak to his son.
“Yes dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, Jacob, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if God forbid something should happen to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.”

Arkansas man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, “I have a flat tarr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers! ?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either.”

Bernie walks into his local Chinese restaurant and is very surprised to see the owner, Mister Lee, eating gefillte fish, chopped liver and kishke.
“Mister Lee, what’s this?” says Bernie.
Lee replies, “Me no eat Chinese CHAZELAI”
(CHAZERAI: garbage).

Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar, and twists, breaking the dog’s neck and killing him instantly.

A reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy.

“That was the most incredible act of bravery I’ve ever seen!” the reporter exclaims. He whips out his notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: “Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!”

The little hero sees this and says, “But sir, I’m not a Bama Fan, I’m an Auburn Fan!”

The reporter looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins a new headline: “Little Redneck Kills Beloved Family Pet”

This blind Jew got a matza, held it in his hand and said:
- Who wrote this garbage!



© 2015 ijokedb.com