Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Little Yossi and his family were having dinner at his bubbe’s house. When everyone was seated, the food was served. As soon as little Yossi got his plate, he started eating from it right away.
“Yossi, please wait until we say our prayer,” said his father.
“I don’t have to,” Yossi replied.
“Of course you have to,” said his mother. “Don’t we always say a prayer before eating at our house?”
“Yes, but that’s our house,” Yossi explained. “This is bubbe’s house and she knows how to cook.”

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 Celsius. Confronted with the same problem the Russians used a pencil.

Sidney says to his friend, “We were so poor when I was young that I had to sleep in the same bed as my three brothers. We slept four-to-a-bed for many years. I didn’t know what it was like to sleep alone until I grew up and married Sadie.”

Sadie was a very successful businesswoman and loved all the nice things in life money brought her. One day, she decided that she and her husband Moshe would spend a week’s holiday at the Gelt Plaza, a 6-star hotel in Bournmouth and she decided to drive there in her new top-of-the range Aston Martin saloon.
2 hours later, she was pleased to see the looks of awe on the faces of the staff as she pulled up outside the hotel’s front door. Three porters went up to greet her as she stepped out of the car. She immediately said to one of them, in a commanding voice, “Carry my luggage into the hotel, my good man.” Then she said to the two other porters, “And could you two please carry my husband into the hotel.”
They were surprised by this request but nevertheless did what was asked, carried Moshe into the lobby and placed him in an armchair by reception.
Then the hotel manager, who had seen all of this, came over to Sadie and said, “Mrs Bloom, welcome to our hotel. I’m sorry to see that your husband is too ill even to walk.”
“What do you mean he can’t walk?” replied Sadie. “Of course he can walk. But thank God I’m now wealthy enough where my Moshe doesnt have to walk.”

The test
Just before the class took their O-level maths exams, their teacher asked them the following problem to test how well they would do in the real exam: -

“A rich man dies and leaves $240,000,000 in his Will. One-third is to go to his wife; one-fifth is to go to his son; one-sixth to his chauffeur; one eighth to his secretary; and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

After a long silence in the classroom, Saul raised his hand.
“Yes, Saul,” said the teacher.
“A good solicitor!” he replied.



© 2015 ijokedb.com