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A guy is walking through Chinatown in New York. He is fascinated by all the Chinese restaurants, the shops, the signs and banners on all the buildings. He is having the greatest time just walking and looking around. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign that says, “Hans Olafsen’s Laundry.”
“Hans Olafsen?” he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?”
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olafsen’s Laundry?”
The old man says, “Is name of owner.”
The visitor asks, “Who is the owner?”
“I am he,” answers the old man.
“You? How did you get a name like Hans Olafsen?”
The old man replies: “Many years ago, when come to this country, I standing in line at immigration office. Man in front was big Swede. Lady look at him and say ‘What your name?’ and he say ‘Hans Olafsen.’ Next, she look at me — ‘What your name?’ I say ‘Saim Ting.’”

Leah goes to Dr Myers for her yearly examination. He begins by putting her on the scales. “How much do you think you weigh, Leah?” he asks.
“8 stone 5 pounds,” Leah replies.
But Dr Myers tells her that her weight is actually 9 stone 3 pounds.
Dr Myers then asks, “How tall are you, Leah?”
“I’m 5 foot 9,” Leah replies.
But when he measures her, it turns out that she is only 5 foot 6.”
Dr Myers then takes her blood pressure. “Your blood pressure is very high, Leah,” he says.
“It’s no wonder,” Leah shouts at him. “When I came in here I was tall and slender. Now Im short and fat.”

Moshe’s mother, Hette, once gave him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time Moshe visited his mother, he made sure he was wearing one of them. As he entered her house, instead of the expected smile, Hette said, “What’s the matter, Moshe? You didn’t like the other one?”

Q: What do you call an Italian in a box?
A: A guinea pig.

It was Victor’s birthday in a few days time and his bubbeh goes out to buy him a present. She finds a menswear shop that was having a half-price sale and buys a luxurious rollneck pullover for him. Unfortunately, the pullover was for a size 14 neck and Victor was a size 18.
When Victor receives his present, he immediately tries it on. He then writes a thank you note to his bubbeh. This is what he wrote: -

“Dear Bubbeh, Thanks a lot for the beautiful pullover. Id write more but Im all choked up.”

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