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Q: What do you call an Italian in a box?
A: A guinea pig.

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.”
“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”
“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian Jews.”

Five years old Benny comes home from Hebrew school one day and says to his parents, “I learned something interesting at school today.”
“That’s nice, Benny,” says his father, “What did you learn today?”
Benny thinks for a moment, then replies, “Daddy, have all the men in our family had their willies criticised?”
His mother laughs out loud. “Oh Benny, darling, the word is circumcised, not criticised, but either way the answer is still ‘YES’.”

Moshe was known to all his friends as a hypochondriac. One day he awoke with a pain on his left side and was convinced that his pain was appendicitis. But his wife Sadie told him that appendices were on the right side of the body.
“Aha,” said Moshe, “so thats why its hurting me so much. My appendix is obviously on the wrong side.”

Ruth and Golda were walking along Hendon High Street.
Ruth says, “My son Irving is getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but… he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.
Golda says, “Do you have any idea what this herpes is, and can he catch it?”
Ruth replies, “No, but I am just so thrilled to hear about Irving’s engagement – it’s time he settled down. As far as the herpes goes… who knows?”
“Well,” says Golda, “I have a very good medical dictionary at home. I’ll look it up and call you.”
So Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth. “Ruth, I found it. Not to worry. It says herpes is a disease of the gentiles.”



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