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Henry is broyges (angry) with his wife and is telling his friend Barry why.
“My Diane’s becoming a real sex object these days,” says Henry.
“So what’s wrong with that? Why are you complaining?” asks Barry.
“Because,” replies Henry, “every time I suggest we have sex, she objects.”

This year’s Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.

Q: where is the highest population of italians in the U.S.A.?
A: in the witness protection program!

Faye is on a Caribbean cruise to celebrate her 80th birthday. She is standing with some other passengers at the front of the ship and thinking of the film TITANIC. It’s very windy up front and she has to hold tightly onto her hat to stop it from blowing away.
Daniel is also at the front of the ship and notices something. So he walks over to Faye and says, “Excuse me madam, but did you know the wind is blowing your dress up over your waist?”
“I know this, thank you,” replies Faye, “but there’s not much I can do – I need both my hands to hold onto my hat.”
“Look, lady,” says Daniel, “I’m sorry if this embarrasses you, but you’re not wearing any underwear and your… ahem… private parts are exposed.”
Faye looks down for a few seconds, then looks up at Daniel and says, “Thanks for pointing this out, but everything you see down there is 80 years old whereas I only bought this hat last week.”

FOR SALE BY OWNER
COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITTANICA
45 VOLUMES
EXCELLENT CONDITION
$500 OR NEAR OFFER
No longer needed
Just got married
Wife knows everything



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