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Morris goes into Harrods furniture department and says to one of the salesmen, “Good morning. I’d be grateful if you could show me where I can find a sexual couch.”
Trying very hard to conceal a smile, the salesman replies, “Does sir mean a sectional couch?”
“No,” replies Morris, “I really do mean a sexual couch. You see, mine wife Sarah says she wants an occasional piece in the living room.”

Q: What do you call a Torah with a seat belt?
A: A Safer Torah!

Jonathan and Renee are on their very first date. As they are walking to the cinema, Renee says, “If you give me a kiss, Jonathan, I promise faithfully that I’ll be yours for ever and a day.”
Jonathan replies, “Thanks for the early warning, Renee.”

What do you get if you cross an Italian with a Jew?
A cleaner who owns the building!

Q: What is the most common disease transmitted by Jewish Mothers?
A: Guilt.

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