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The alternative name
Published: 9 months ago     submited by
Related: Jewish (+6997)     

Although Abe and Hetty, both in their 60s, have lived in New York all their lives, they decide to move to Golders Green in London. Within six months of their move, they’re lucky enough to win $10M on the lottery. They are naturally over the moon and use most of their winnings to buy a small mansion overlooking Hampstead Heath. They also decide to employ a chauffeur for their new Lexus, an au pair, a gardener to care for their half acre back garden and a butler to serve all their meals. Soon after moving into their new home, they invite their London friends Max and Hannah over for dinner.
During the meal, Max says to the butler, “My good man, so what is your name, what shall we call you?”
The butler replies, in perfect Queens English, “Well sir, my master calls me shipwreck.”
As soon as the butler leaves the room, Max asks, “So what kind of a name is shipwreck, Abe?”
In his usual thick New York accent, Abe replies, “Vats mit shipwreck? Hes de voist butler in da voild, so ve call him shtick dreck.”

shtick dreck: A piece of shit, someone cheap, shoddy, useless

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