Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Q: What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when she told her she had an affair?
A: “Who did the catering, darling?”

Benjamin returned home early from an overseas business trip and quietly let himself into his house. He crept upstairs – and found his wife in bed with a strange man. The stranger was sprawled naked on top of the sheets and was looking very pleased with himself.
“Rifka, how could you do this to me?” Benjamin shouted.
“Wait, darling,” said Rifka. “You know that soft blue leather jacket I’ve been wearing recently? Well this is the kind man who gave it to me. And that pearl and diamond gold necklace you always like me wearing? Well this is the generous man who gave it to me. And do you remember when you couldn’t afford to buy me my own car and I came home with an Audi? Well this is the caring man who gave it to me.”
Benjamin thought about this for a few moments, looked again at the scene before him and then said, “For goodness sake, Rifka, don’t you know it’s freezing in here. Cover him up at once. We don’t want him to catch a cold.”

What is the difference between a nice jewish girl and jello?
Jello moves when you eat it.

Moshe goes to Heathrow Airport to fly to New York. While he is waiting for his flight, he notices a lady sitting nearby crying. So he goes over and asks her if anything was wrong.
She says, “My son John moved to New York some months ago and I havent heard from him since. I’m so worried. Even though we’re Jewish, he’s never called or written to me. So I come here from time to time because he left from this airport and I feel closer to him here than anywhere else.”
As they talk, the lady asks, “Would you by any chance be going to New York?”
Moshe replies, “Well, as a matter of fact I am.”
She says, “Oh would you please find my son and ask him to call me? His name is John Dun, spelled with one N.”
Moshe replies, “I dont think it’s possible to find one man in New York.”
She says, “Oh, please try. It would mean so much to me. I miss him so very much.”
After much pleading, Moshe finally agrees to do his best.
All the way to New York, he wonders, “How can I ever find her son?” When the plane lands, he takes a cab to his hotel. As the cab nears his hotel, Moshe sees on the side of one of the sky scrapers ‘DUN AND BRADSTREET’ so he says to himself, “This might be easier than I thought.”
Later that day, after unpacking, he goes into the D&B building, walks up to the receptionist and asks, “Do you have a John here?”
She replies, “Yes. Down this hall to the right and it’s the third door on the left.”
He thanks her and goes looking for the door she pointed out. He finds it and goes in. Just as he walks into the room, there is a man there, drying his hands. Moshe says to him, “Are you Dun?”
The man replies, “Yes.”
Moshe says, “Call your mother.”

Rifka and Benjy, a 70 year old married couple, are on a long drive and decide to stop off for a night’s rest before continuing with their journey. So when they reach Minky’s Hotel, they go up to the desk and ask the clerk for a room.
“I’m sorry,” he tells them, “all our normal rooms are taken. But don’t worry, I’ve got the ideal room for a nice couple like you – the bridal suite.”
“Don’t be stupid,” says Benjy, “weve been married for over 40 years. Why do you think we need the bridal suite?”
“Well,” replies the clerk, “if I gave you the ballroom, would you have to dance?”



© 2015 ijokedb.com