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The time is the French Revolution.
Yossi lived in a small village and one day, his friend Roberto came to see him after returning from a trip to Paris.
Yossi asked Roberto what was happening in Paris as he had heard they were regularly using the Guillotine.
“Yes, you heard right”, said Roberto, “conditions there are as bad as can be. They are chopping off people’s heads in their thousands.”
“Oy vay”, moaned Yossi, “whatever will happen to my hat business?”

Aaron and Jonathan, two businessmen both in their 80s, meet one day in Brent Cross shopping centre. Aaron asks, “So nu, Jonathan, what’s new?”
“Vat’s new, you ask me? Trouble, that’s vat’s new,” replies Jonathan. “Mine secretary is suing me for breach of promise.”
“But I don’t understand,” says Aaron. “At your age, what could you promise her?”

Q: How many Jewish husbands does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know – it’s never happened.

1. Moshe was talking to his friend. “I had it all, Hymie – money, a beautiful house and the love of a beautiful woman. Then pow! It was all gone.”
“What happened?” asked Hymie.
“My wife found out about the beautiful woman.”

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.”
“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”
“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian Jews.”

© 2015