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A reform Rabbi was having an argument with an orthodox Rabbi.
He asked him, “Why don’t you let the men and women of your congregation sit together as they do in my congregation?”
The orthodox Rabbi (who had a mischievous sense of humour) replied, “If you want to know the truth, I don’t really mind them sitting together at all. The trouble is, however, that I give sermons and I can’t have them sleeping together.”

Q: If Goliath is resurrected, would you tell him the joke about David & Goliath?
A: No, he already fell for it once.

Q: Who was the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David – he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Sam is recovering from a recent heart attack and goes to visit Dr Myers, his cardiologist. After a full check up, Dr Myers tells Sam that he will be able to resume his sex life as soon as he can climb two flights of stairs without getting out of breath.
Sam says, “OK, but what if I only look for women who live on the ground floor?”

Sadie took her husband Bernie to see a psychiatrist for a check up. After examining him, the doctor took Sadie to one side and said, “I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your husband. His mind has completely gone.”
“I’m not really surprised,” Sadie replied, “Bernie’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 50 years.”

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