Joke's Database
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!

Moshe goes to Heathrow Airport to fly to New York. While he is waiting for his flight, he notices a lady sitting nearby crying. So he goes over and asks her if anything was wrong.
She says, “My son John moved to New York some months ago and I havent heard from him since. I’m so worried. Even though we’re Jewish, he’s never called or written to me. So I come here from time to time because he left from this airport and I feel closer to him here than anywhere else.”
As they talk, the lady asks, “Would you by any chance be going to New York?”
Moshe replies, “Well, as a matter of fact I am.”
She says, “Oh would you please find my son and ask him to call me? His name is John Dun, spelled with one N.”
Moshe replies, “I dont think it’s possible to find one man in New York.”
She says, “Oh, please try. It would mean so much to me. I miss him so very much.”
After much pleading, Moshe finally agrees to do his best.
All the way to New York, he wonders, “How can I ever find her son?” When the plane lands, he takes a cab to his hotel. As the cab nears his hotel, Moshe sees on the side of one of the sky scrapers ‘DUN AND BRADSTREET’ so he says to himself, “This might be easier than I thought.”
Later that day, after unpacking, he goes into the D&B building, walks up to the receptionist and asks, “Do you have a John here?”
She replies, “Yes. Down this hall to the right and it’s the third door on the left.”
He thanks her and goes looking for the door she pointed out. He finds it and goes in. Just as he walks into the room, there is a man there, drying his hands. Moshe says to him, “Are you Dun?”
The man replies, “Yes.”
Moshe says, “Call your mother.”

A Brooklynite tourist was strolling through Hong Kong when he spied a synagogue. He entered and, sure enough, he found a Chinese Rabbi and a Chinese congregation.
Even though he spoke no Chinese, he was touched by the service.
The rabbi stood by the door greeting his congregants, When the Brooklynite shook the rabbi’s hand, the rabbi asked, “You Jew?”
The man answered “Yes”
The rabbi replied, “Funny, you don’t look Jewish”!

Joe is talking to his soon-to-be-married son Abe. “Let me give you some advice, Abe. On my wedding night, I took off my trousers, handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here try these on.’ Your mother did as she was told and said, ‘These are too big – I cant wear them.’ So I said to her, ‘And don’t you forget it. I wear the trousers in our house and always will.’ Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.”
Abe thought this was such good advice that on his honeymoon, he takes off his trousers and says to his bride, “Here Rifka, try these on.”
She does, then says, “But these are too large – they dont fit me.”
Abe says, “Exactly. I wear the trousers in our house and always will. I dont want you to ever forget that.”
So Rifka takes off her panties, hands them to Abe and says, “Here, you try on mine.”
Abe tries but has to admit, “I cant get into your panties.”
Rifka responds, “Exactly. And if you dont change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.”

Shlomo and Ruth were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their long lasting and happy marriage was the talk of the Edgware community. So it was no surprise when a Jewish Chronicle reporter came to see Shlomo to ask him the secret of their successful marriage.
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained Shlomo. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on mules. We hadn’t gone very far when Ruth’s mule stumbled. She looked at the mule and quietly said ‘That’s once.’
“We had only proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more Ruth looked him in the eyes and quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’
“We hadn’t gone more than a half-mile more when the mule stumbled a third time. This time, Ruth promptly removed a revolver from her rucksack and shot the mule dead.
“I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when Ruth looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once’.”

What was it like in 5 BC (before computers)?

• Memory was something you lost with age
• An application was for employment
• A program was a TV show
• A cursor used profanity
• A keyboard was a piano
• A web was a spiders home
• A virus was the flu
• A hard drive was a long trip on the road
• A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
• And if you had a 3 inch floppy… .you just hoped nobody ever found out!

© 2015