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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact
that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

George W. Bush Jr was in an airport lobby and noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.
George Bush approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses.”
The man ignored George and stared at the ceiling.
George Bush positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses”.
The man continued to peruse the ceiling.
George tugged at the man’s sleeve and asked once again, “Aren’t you Moses”.
The man finally responded in an irritated voice, “Yes I am”.
George asked him why he was so uppity and the man replied, “The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend forty years in the desert”.

Q: Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

After living out their retirement years in Miami Beach, Sam Goldberg passes away. His wife, distraught over the passing of her husband of 65 years, goes to the newspaper to discuss Sam’s obituary.
The obituary editor says to Ruth, “tell me about your late husband.” Ruth proceeds to tearfully extol Sam’s virtues to the heavens… his incredibly charitable nature, his unsurpassed philanthropy, his impeccable business ethics, his excellence and loving nature as a husband, father, brother, son.
After 20 minutes of praise, the editor interrupts Ruth, saying, “Unfortunately, Mrs. Goldberg, due to the preponderance of elderly people in Miami Beach, this newspaper, unlike in the past, can no longer to afford to print lengthy obituaries at no cost, irrespective of how wonderful your late husband was. Our current policy is to offer you the first five words for free, and each additional word will cost you ten cents.”
Ruth ponders this for a while, and then says to the editor, “okay, then, please print this… “

A junior manager, a senior manager and Moshe their boss, are on their way to a meeting. On their journey through a park, they come across an oil lamp sticking out of the ground under a bush. They pick it up, rub it, and out pops a genie.
The genie says, “Thank you very much. I normally grant three wishes but as there are three of you, I can only allow one wish each.”
Without waiting for the others, the eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat with loads of money and have no worries for the rest of my life.”
POW and he was gone.
The junior manager couldn’t keep quiet and shouted, “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls all around me, and plenty of good food and champagne.”
KERPOW and he was gone too.
Moshe the boss then calmly said, “Here’s my wish. I want those two idiots back in my office immediately after lunch.”

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