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Moishe went out fishing. He had driven by the lake many times before and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him was scooping in one fish after another. Moishe had to know the secret.
“Excuse me, would you mind telling me what sort of bait you’re using?” he asked.
The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. “Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well.”
Moishe couldn’t match that. He thanked the man and left.
Next day, Moishe returned to the lake, tried a different bait but still had no luck. Just as before, there ahead was another man reeling in fish after fish.
“Excuse me,” asked Moishe, “but could you suggest a bait that I could try?”
“Well, I can but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am a doctor and I’m using a bit of human appendix.”
“Hmm,” thought Moishe. “I can’t match that. It seems that the fish in this lake will require a little more effort than normal.”
He left, willing to give the lake one more try.
On the third day, Moishe still had no luck. As usual, there was another man near him bringing in lots of fish. Moishe had to confirm what he already knew.
“Excuse me sir, but are you a doctor?”
“No, I am a mohel.”

Freda and Moshe Levy won 8 million pounds in the National Lottery. They immediately went out to begin a life of living in luxury. They bought a luxurious mansion in Northwood, surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable and decided to hire a butler. After much searching, they found the perfect one.
One day, they instructed the butler to set up a dinner for four because they were inviting their friends, the Cohens, over for dinner and they will be going out for the day.
When they returned that evening, they found the table set for six. When they asked the butler why six places were set when they specifically instructed him to set the table for four, the butler replied: “The Cohens called and said that they were bringing the Bagels.”

Three Jewish mothers met for lunch:
“Oi, Oi, have I had a week!” The first cried, “On Monday my daughter’s husband of 15 years, the father of my three grandchildren announces he’s leaving her for another woman!”
“You think you got problems?” Exclaimed the second lady, “My son has left his wife to set up home with the man next door!”
“That’s nothing!” Declared the third, “I’ve lost my cleaner!”

Abe was visiting Israel for the first time. As soon as his plane landed, he got a taxi to take him to his hotel. The taxi driver was very friendly and told Abe all kinds of useful information.
Then Abe asks the driver, “Say, is Israel a healthy place?”
“Oh, yes, it really is,” the driver answered, “When I first came here, I couldn’t say even one simple word, I had hardly any hair on my head, I didn’t have the energy to walk across a small room and I even had to be helped out of bed every day.”
“That’s a remarkable story, truly amazing,” Abe said, “so how long have you been here in Israel?”
“I was born here.”

Issy was the proud co-owner of the local dry cleaners. One day, during dinner, whilst he was finishing his chicken soup, his 9year old son Sam asked, “Dad, what’s ethics?”
Issy thought for a while, put down his spoon, looked at Sam and replied, “Okay, let’s suppose someone comes into my shop and gives me his business suit to dry clean. Then suppose I find a $20 note in his trouser pocket?”
Sam looked expectantly at his father.
“So,” Issy said, “to answer your question, Sam, do I tell my partner I found the money? That’s ethics”.

© 2015