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Sharon has reached the age of 18 and is regarded by many as, well, a stunner. One day, she goes to buy a new dress.
“Can I please try on that dress in the window?” she asks Benjamin, the boutique owner.
“Go ahead,” Benjamin replies with a shrug, “maybe it’ll attract some business.”

It’s nearly four o’clock in the morning and Sadie wakes up to see her husband pacing up and down the bedroom floor.
“Moishe, come back to bed, it’s not yet morning” she tells him.
Moishe replies, “I can’t go to sleep. You know the $10,000 I borrowed from our next door neighbour, Bernie. Well, it’s due to be repaid tomorrow and I don’t have the money. I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”
So Sadie gets out of bed and opens the bedroom window. “Bernie,” she shouts on top of her voice, “Bernie, Bernie.”
Finally a very tired looking Bernie opens his window and shouts, “You’re crazy, Sadie. Don’t you know it’s nearly 4 o’clock in the morning? What the hell do you want?”
Sadie shouts back, “Bernie, you know the $10,000 my husband owes you? Well, he doesn’t have it.”
Then she slams the window shut, turns to Moishe and says, now you can go to sleep and let Bernie pace the floor.”

Victor, Cyril and Abe met up in Brent Cross shopping centre for a chat and a coffee. Victor says, “Do you two know that last night I made love to mine Leah three times and this morning, as soon as I awoke, she told me how much she loved me.”
“Mazeltov,” says Cyril, “but last night I made love to mine Sarah four times and this morning, as soon as I awoke, she told me I must be the world’s greatest lover.”
Abe doesn’t say a word and just takes another sip of his coffee. So his two friends ask him how many times he had made love last night.
“Vell if you must know,” replies Abe, “I made love to mine Becky vonce.”
“Only once?” says Cyril, “And what did Becky say to you this morning?”
“She said, ‘Don’t stop!’”

there is 3 guys one was a american jewish the others was israeli and the other was rabbi so they are heaven and they go to a place were they could meet girls so the guy who runs the place tells them i want you to go one at a time and dont touch the goose or trip over the goose so the american jewish go’s in and comes back with an ugly girl and the other two ask him what happend and the guy replys i touched the goose
then the rabbi go’s in and comes back with an ugly girl and they asked him the same question and he answers i triped over the goose. So the israelin go’s in and he comes out with a hot chick and the other two ask him what happend but before he could answer the girl answers i touched the goose

Leah goes to Dr Myers for her yearly examination. He begins by putting her on the scales. “How much do you think you weigh, Leah?” he asks.
“8 stone 5 pounds,” Leah replies.
But Dr Myers tells her that her weight is actually 9 stone 3 pounds.
Dr Myers then asks, “How tall are you, Leah?”
“I’m 5 foot 9,” Leah replies.
But when he measures her, it turns out that she is only 5 foot 6.”
Dr Myers then takes her blood pressure. “Your blood pressure is very high, Leah,” he says.
“It’s no wonder,” Leah shouts at him. “When I came in here I was tall and slender. Now Im short and fat.”

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