Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100252 jokes and pictures!


The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?”

The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my little Fifi is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier didn’t say another word. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You’re bad at holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.”

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, The French captured an English major.

Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, “Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?”

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won’t show and the men they are leading won’t panic.

And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

The finest culture comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key Molly-ponce!

Sally learned to speak in French
She’s now a dame and not a wench.

Dick acquired that language fair
And now he’s swayve and deb-an-err.

Speaking French will prove you’re better
Show you’ve got a rays-on-debtor.

Read in French and sack-ray-blue!
You’re sure to find your tom-pair-doo.

Write in French and you’ll be famous
Just like muss-your Albert Camus.

You can bet your dairy-air
Your French will prove your salve-war-fare.

He who is a true believer
Shows his Gallic joyed-a-fever.

French cuisine is all the rage
So drink Bored-O with soft from-age.

Wear a little black beret
And eat cross-ants with French calf-A.

Then there’s all that art you know
So speak bow-czar and art-new-foe.

And what a joy to smoke Get-tans
While watching films that come from Cans.

I guess it’s not an easy job
To be a phony stuck-up snob…

Such games in Frontz they also play
But there “c’est snob” to speak anglais!

At a conference that included admirals from many allied countries, there was a cocktail reception where there was a small group talking that included an admiral from the US Navy and an admiral from the French Navy.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learn English.

He then asked, “Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you having to speak French?”

The American admiral replied,”Maybe it is because we arranged it so you did not have to speak German.”

The group was silent.

At a conference that included admirals from many allied countries, there was a cocktail reception where there was a small group talking that included an admiral from the US Navy and an admiral from the French Navy.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learn English.

He then asked, “Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you having to speak French?”

The American admiral replied,”Maybe it is because we arranged it so you did not have to speak German.”

The group was silent.



© 2015 ijokedb.com