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A Canadian tourist fell into a beer vat during a tour of the Labatt’s Brewing Facility outside of Toronto. Plant officials estimate the tourist drank fifteen gallons of beer before he could be removed from the vat.

Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant.
That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
* In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a sasquatch.
* Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.
* In Montreal, you may not swear in French.
* Also in Montreal, citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.
* In Beaconsfield, it is considered an offense to have more than two colors of paint on your house.
* In Toronto, you can’t drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.
* The city of Guelph is classified as a no-pee zone.
* In New Brunswick, driving on the roads is not allowed.

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.



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