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It’s so hot in Arizona that…
Published: 1 week ago     submited by
Related: Arizona (+117)     
         

* the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
* the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
* farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
* the cows are giving evaporated milk.
* the trees are whistling for the dogs.
* you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
* you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
* you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* you can make instant sun tea.
* you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
* you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
* you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
* you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
* The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
* you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
* you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
* you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* hot water now comes out of both taps.
* it’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
* you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
* no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
* your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
* you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
* a sad Arizonan once prayed, “I wish it would rain – not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it — but for my 7-year-old.”

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