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Q. Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
A. 3 dollars a year for a million years.

A Bama alum, a Tennesse alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad.

First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, “Ready, aim….”

The Bama alum yells “Sandstorm!” and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away.

The Tennesse guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said “Ready, aim…..”;

The Tennesseean shouted ” Tornado!!!!”. All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped.

The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted “Ready, aim….”

The Aubie shouted “FIRE!”

Q. Do you know the difference between an Auburn fan getting run over by a car and an Alabama fan?

A. There are skid marks in front of the Bama fan!!

Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?

A. Wear a Bama jersey!

A football fan walks into a small shop in Birmingham. He spots a bottle labeled “New York Football Player Brains” , $5 an ounce. He asks the clerk if there are any other bottles.

The clerk replies, “Well, we’ve got Tennessee brains for $10 an ounce, and Alabama football brains for $1,000,000 an ounce.”

The man says, “Why the big difference in price?”

The clerk answers,”Do you know how many Alabama football players we have to kill to get an ounce of brains!”

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