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Arkansas man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, “I have a flat tarr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers! ?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either.”

Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar, and twists, breaking the dog’s neck and killing him instantly.

A reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy.

“That was the most incredible act of bravery I’ve ever seen!” the reporter exclaims. He whips out his notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: “Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!”

The little hero sees this and says, “But sir, I’m not a Bama Fan, I’m an Auburn Fan!”

The reporter looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins a new headline: “Little Redneck Kills Beloved Family Pet”

The owner of a golf course in Arkansas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Arkansas, and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Q: What do Alaskans do when their boats are too leaky?

A: Use them for dog houses.

Q. What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?
A. Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a house trailer.



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