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Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’ favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale’s

Yetta and Sarah, both well known braggers, meet one Sunday at Brent Cross shopping centre. “I held a fantastic dinner party last night,” says Yetta, “my guests had so much good food and wine available to them that when they left to walk over to their cars, they were all doubled-over.”
Without missing a beat, Sarah replies, “From your house they could walk?”

Isaac has just had a beautiful swimming pool built in his garden in Hampstead Garden Suburb. But his joy is short lived when a council inspector knocks on his door and asks to see the pool.
“Mr. Levy,” says the inspector, “we’ve checked our records and we can’t find any evidence that you obtained council approval to build this pool. Is this correct?”
“Yes,” answers Isaac, “but I didn’t know I needed permission to build in my own back garden. Is permission really required?”
“Oh yes,” replies the inspector, “indeed it’s required. A swimming pool must get official sanction before it’s built. Only if it were an ornamental fish pond, say, would permission not be necessary.”
“OK,” says Isaac, “what you see in front of you is really an ornamental pond.”
“I’m not stupid,” says the inspector, “a 40metre long pool such as yours cannot be described as a pond, Mr. Levy.”
“But it is a pond,” argues Isaac, “indeed it is.”
Then the inspector spots a filtration plant at the end of the garden. “So why is there a filter?”
“Because,” replies Isaac, “it’s a gefilte fish pond.”

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie?
A: It’s called “Debbie Does Dishes”.

Shlomo was a miser and his friend Isaac knew this. One evening, Shlomo and Isaac went out for a meal with their girlfriends. At the end of the meal, Isaac overheard Shlomo say to his girl, “Marry me darling and I’ll buy you the sun, the moon and the stars.”
Shlomo immediately called over the waiter and said, “Separate bills please.”

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