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Teacher: If you have five haystacks in one corner, five in another and two in another, how many would you have?
Pupil: One big haystack!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.
“Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.
Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!



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