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One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story.

Suzy said, “Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.”

The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”

Next is little Lucy. “Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.”
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.

Lucy replies “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

Last is little Billy. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands”.

The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, “Don’t fuck with uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”

Teacher, I can’t solve this problem.
Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can’t do it then, I’m nearly ten!

Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn’t give me any trouble, just the answers!

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea
Son: She took it like a lamb
Teacher: Really ?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!

A high school teacher was giving a true/false test. He was strolling up and down the aisles surveying the students at work. He came upon one student who was flipping a coin, then writing.
Teacher: What are you doing?
Student: Getting the answers to the test.
The teacher shook his head and walked on. A little while later, when everyone was finished with the test, the teacher noticed the student was again flipping the coin.
Teacher: Now what are you doing?
Student: I’m checking the answers.



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