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Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon?
Pupil: The horse will draw it!
Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class?
Pupil: My mother won’t let me do it at home!

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand.
“Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean?”
The little girl replies, “I love you.”
The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.

The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUCK” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, From Us Colored Kids!”.

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand.
“Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean?”
The little girl replies, “I love you.”
The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.

The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUCK” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, From Us Colored Kids!”.

The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described.

Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.”
Timmy: “I know what it is, it’s an apple.”
Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way you’re thinking.”
“OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it.”
Christopher: “I know what it is, it’s an orange.”
Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way you’re thinking.”
Johnny: “Can I try, Teacher?”
Teacher: “Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!”
Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a second, and says “My object is round, hard, and has a head on it.”
Teacher: “Alright Johnny, go to the office!”
Johnny: “No Teacher, it’s a quarter, but, I like the way you’re thinking!”

A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. “Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?”
He said, “Damn if I know.”
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy.
“Now, Johnny, I’ll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?”
“Well, hell, teacher,” Johnny said, “I told you I didn’t know.”
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, “Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!”



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