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A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Kelly has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Colts fan” she reports.

“Then,” asks the teacher,” What are you?”

“I’m a Chicago Bears fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan.

“Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I’m a Bears fan too,” she responds.

“That’s no reason,” the teacher says. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”

Kelly smiles and says, “Then I’d be a Colts fan.”

Teacher : Can’t you retain anything in your head overnight?
Pupil : Of course, I’ve had this cold in my head for two days!

Principal: I’ve been watching you to day, Mr. Wartman. It was wonderful how you managed to stay on your toes for the entire first day of school!
Teacher: I had no choice. My students put thumbtacks on my chair!

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Little Johnny!

Teacher: How much is half of 8
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

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