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In some foreign country a Athens State Priest, a University of Alabama Lawyer and an Auburn Engineer are about to be guillotined. The Priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens. He declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention, so he’s let go.

The Lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade. He claims he can’t be executed twice for the same crime and he too, is set free.

They grab the Auburn Engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, “Wait a minute, I see your problem…”

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

* You consider McDonald’s “real food.”

* You actually like doing laundry at home.

* 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.

* It starts getting late on the weeknights.

* Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

* You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.

* You’d rather clean than study.

* Half the time you don’t wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.

* Computer Solitaire is more than a game it’s a way of life.

* You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.

* You know the pizza boy by name.

* You go to sleep when it’s light and get up when it’s dark.

* You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)

* Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.

* Prank phone calls become funny again.

* Wal-Mart is the coolest store.

* World War III could take place and you’d be clueless.

* You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.

* Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

* Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.

* You find out milk crates have so many uses.

* The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday. (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night)

Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!

Students, take note:

Knowledge is power …

But power corrupts …

And corruption is a crime …

And crime doesn’t pay …

So if you keep on studying you’ll go broke!



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