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University: ______________________
To: Professor_____________________
From: __________________________

I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:

__1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.

__2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.

__3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won’t get into:

__Medical School
__Graduate School
__Dental School
__My Fraternity/Sorority
__The Mickey Mouse Club
__Tri County Tech

__4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in: _______________.

__5. I’ll lose my scholarship.

__6. I’m on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn’t find a copy of your exam.

__7. I didn’t come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.

__8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.

__9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.

__10. You are prejudiced against:

__Males
__Jews
__Blacks
__Females
__Catholics
__Whites
__Protestants
__Moslems
__Minorities
__Chicanos
__People
__Students

__11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.

__12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness:

__mono
__broken baby finger
__acute alcoholism
__pregnancy
__VD
__fatherhood

__13. You told us to be creative but you didn’t tell us exactly how you wanted that done.

__14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.

__15. I don’t have a reason; I just want a higher grade.

__16. The lectures were:

__too detailed to pick out important points
__not explained in sufficient detail
__too boring
__all jokes and not enough material
__all of the above

__17. This course was:

__too early, I was not awake.
__at lunchtime, I was hungry
__too late, I was tired

__18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course.

__19. Other__________________________________

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

* Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.

* Enjoy being a Sophomore — It will be the best three years of your life.

* Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it’s all fun and games until someone loses their ‘nads.

* Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.

* Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative “home pharmaceuticals” business.

* If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.

* Boring lecture? Start a wave!

* College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.

* “I Phelta Thi” is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.

* Remember – almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

* Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.

* Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.

* Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor — think of it as “acing Biology.”

* In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.

The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor were not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a “walk” and the students were free to leave, with no penalties for missing a class. The rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks which “jumped” ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it were, these clocks were also not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to “jump” ahead 1 minute.

So, it became almost daily practice for these students to take target practice at the clock (as it would have it, this particular professor was not the most punctual, and the students considered him severely “absent-minded”). A few well aimed erasers, and lo, 15 minutes were passed, and class dismissed itself.

Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told them, “You have 1 hour to complete the exam.”

The professor then proceeded to collect the erasers from around the room, gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully “jumped” the clock forward 1 hour, he closed the class and collected the exam papers.

Life does teach some lessons the hard way!

Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

“I will give you each one wish; that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie.

The Wolfpack says, “I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile.”

With a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.

The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city.”

Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.

The Blue Devil says, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.”

The Blue Devil says, “Fill it up with water.”



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