Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Following are a sampling of test answers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school and college students around the world.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, and u.

To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.

For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.

A professor teaching medicine at the university was tutoring a class on ‘Observation’. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. “This,” he explained, “is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste.”

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. “If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth.”

Lesson learned!

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.

Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.

History:
Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Medicine:
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Public Speaking:
2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.

Music:
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Physchology:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man’s work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Sociology:
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Engineering:
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics:
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Political Science:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

Epistemology:
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

Physics:
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Philosophy:
Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

General Knowledge:
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn’t give me any trouble, just the answers!

Q: How can you tell your getting close to Auburn?
A: If you stop to take a piss the cows will back up to the fence.



© 2015 ijokedb.com