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Two Auburn grads had bought a couple of horses that they used to make some money during the summer. But when winter came, they found that it cost too much to board them. So they turned the horses loose in a pasture where there was plenty to eat. “How will we tell yours from mine when we pick them up?” the first Auburn guy asked.

“Easy,” replied the second. “We’ll cut the mane off my horse and the tail off yours.”

By spring, the mane and tail had grown back to normal length. “Now what are we going to do?” asked the first.

The second replied, “Well, why don’t you just take the black one and I’ll take the white one.”

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand.
“Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean?”
The little girl replies, “I love you.”
The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.

The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUCK” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, From Us Colored Kids!”.

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand.
“Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean?”
The little girl replies, “I love you.”
The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.

The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUCK” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, From Us Colored Kids!”.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.



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