Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

“I will give you each one wish; that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie.

The Wolfpack says, “I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile.”

With a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.

The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city.”

Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.

The Blue Devil says, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.”

The Blue Devil says, “Fill it up with water.”

A professor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sexy-looking girl knocked on his door.

“Yes?” he replied, “How may I help you?”

The girl said “I need to talk to you about my grade in your class.”

“Come in and have a seat,” said the instructor.

“Is there anything I can do to get an “A” in your class?”

“What do you mean by *anything*,” he replied.

She said “Anything!”

“Anything??”

She said, in her best sultry voice, “I mean ANYTHING.”

The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, “Would you study?”

I have three college degrees:

B.S. – Bull Shit

M.S. – More of the Same

Ph.D. – Piled Higher and Deeper

The absent-minded professor paused to chat awhile with one of his students, then asked, “Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?”
“That way,” the student pointed.
”Good,” said the professor, ”then I’ve had my lunch.”

The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.

“Are you feeling OK?” he asked.

“Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet,” she admitted. “Is there a name for my condition?”

“Why yes, there is,” he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. “It’s called ‘Good News’.”



© 2015 ijokedb.com