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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?
A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.

Q. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?

A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Pamela Anderson went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. “Darn, he recognized me,” she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color,
new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

“I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. Frustrated, Pamela exclaimed “How do you know
I’m a blonde’” “Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Q. What’s the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?

A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair….and O.J walked!

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes were disagreeing with each other and the silent treatment was under way! The silence continued, when a week later Tom Cruise needed to get up at 5am to catch a business flight. His alarm clock wasn’t working, and he grudgingly realized that he needed Katie to wake him up.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote down on a piece of paper, “Please wake me up at 5 tommorow morning so I can catch my flight, “and put it on her pillow before she came to bed.

The next morning he awoke to find that it was 9am, he heard KAtie in the kitchen, and he had missed his flight. He noticed a note on his pillow,
“It’s 5am… Wake up!”

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