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Paris Hilton reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

“I finished the exam in a half hour,” she replies. “Now I’m rechecking my answers.”

Paris Hilton pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story’”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that’”

One day three midgets decided they wanted to be in the record books the fist one says “I have pretty short arms”, so he goes and succeeds. The second one says “I have pretty short legs,” so he goes and succeeds. The third one says “I have a very small penis,” and when he comes back he says “Who the hell is Leonardo DiCaprio?”

Q: What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
A: Ince pies!

Sarah Jessica Parker rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: ‘Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!’
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: ‘Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….’



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